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A Not So Wonder Woman Story

How many of you remember Wonder Woman? I don’t mean the Superhero of 2017, I mean the original Wonder Woman? She was strong, invincible, beautiful and she too, could fly; however, I believe she got a raw deal. She could do what her male counterparts could do but what makes her my favorite is that she could get into that teeny-tiny Wonder Woman outfit … LONG before the invention of Spanx. Now, that is super power.

Friends, full confession here: I am a full-time Spanx wearer. Say, “Hello Cherie.” As I approached my fifties, I noticed this extra bulge around my belly. Many people refer to it as a muffin top but at 55 years-old, it is not just a muffin-top it is a full-blown iced cupcake.

Back to my confession, I started wearing Spanx to feel more confident in front of my audiences. One of my dearest friends informed me I could get a pair of Spanx from our local department store. I headed out one Saturday afternoon, arrived at the store and went immediately to lingerie. I asked the salesclerk where the Spanx were located. She politely pointed to the far corner. I quickly made my way to that life-changing-miracle-working corner, to find little boxes about the size of a deck of cards. Surely, I had taken a wrong turn and was now in the greeting card section! But lo, as I looked, I saw printed on the box, “Spanx.” I grabbed me a pair in my size, small, but wow, how an extra-large feel much better.

I immediately went home to perform the miracle – the miracle that promised a sleeker-smoother- thinner silhouette. I pulled the Spanx out of the box and began to pray because it was going to take a miracle to slide that small rubber band looking contraption over my hips. I stretched, gyrated, pulled, tugged, and finally had the Spanx over my ankles. I continued for what felt like an hour an hour, and still only had the giant rubber band up to my knee caps, when I heard the backdoor open and my daughter, announced she was home. And there is was, that inevitable question “What’s for dinner?

“I haven’t decided,” I barked, “but could you look and see if we have any Crisco in the pantry?

“No,” she yelled back, “but we have olive oil.”

I squawked, “Bring it up here and if there are any left overs, I’ll make a Greek Salad.”

She ran upstairs with the olive oil and as soon as she saw the twisted configuration I was in, her belly-laugh caused her to drop the oil smack on the floor. Did you know olive oil is difficult to get out of carpet? But, is soothing for your legs and there will be enough left over for a Greek Salad?

Now, my point proven, Wonder Woman got into that outfit long before Spanx. Not sure how she did that but I certainly attribute it to her super powers!

Have you ever considered yourself a Wonder Woman or Superman? I thought I could be my own wonder woman. Maybe, some of you can relate. Now, I didn’t think I could leap tall buildings or fly but my mind did race with some unreal expectations that could be paralleled to leaping or flying.

Some of you may be thinking, “I don’t understand, why you thought you were Wonder Woman?”

My response may get your attention because of the ways I “attempted to fly.” I felt the burden of my childhood family rested fully upon my shoulders alone and my mind would race with thoughts like these.

For things to be done right … I’d have to do them myself, or I always have to do it all, or, I can control this, and the biggest lying leap of them all, I don’t need anyone.

I think I heard the echo of sighs just then. Was that you? Now, do you understand my Wonder Woman mentality? Perhaps today you, too, have attempted to take a flying leap and collapsed into a puddle of olive oil or stuck knee deep in Crisco?

Today, will you admit that you have not been asked to be a Wonder Woman or a Super Hero? The Bible teaches us without Christ we can do nothing but Philippians 4:13 says, “We can do all things through Christ that gives us strength.” Now, Jesus – there is the SUPER HERO!

In the future when you attempt to put on your red cape and fly, or your mind leaps to your control mode, or your heart attempts to accomplish things alone, remember that is not your job. Pick up your Bible and call out to Jesus, and then, you will soar.

Love you all bunches!

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